A little venting.

All this talk of new world orders and change and cutting out the middle man has got me thinking.

Perhaps in this subject it’s ok to not get right into the Communication Theory, but it’s really not ok in the wider world of university research. Which, when you’re writing about grassroots movements, neo-crafters and the handmade, is a bit of an issue. The whole idea of user-generated content and democracy and level playing fields is incredibly undemocratic within the context of traditional establishments of higher learning. I know we sort of touched on this in the first lecture, but in trying to suss out journal articles and capital-A Academic writing about my masters topic, I seem to have run into a couple of problems.

There are definitely articles out there on online communities and the way they work, but the ones I’ve found are pretty theoretical in nature. And they’re definitely not written by the people who are part of the communities. They’re written by academics, largely working within the traditional academic publishing world of referenced journals. Which generally means that the work they’re producing is of a very high standard. All very well. But when the people I’m really interested in looking at don’t have PhDs or access to the review panels of respected journals, it becomes a little trickier. Especially when they’re not crackpots. They’re thoughtful, intelligent, and often very well-educated, but they spend their time in the world of home studios and weekend markets rather than in tertiary classrooms.

Of course, there’s always the chance that the research I’m pining for is out there somewhere and I’m yet to find it. But I still think the point about user-generated content is a good one…

I’m a total fraud and I don’t belong!

Not really. I know that isn’t true, for all the standard reasons people give you to make you feel better. (You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t belong; they don’t let stupid people in; blah, blah…)

However, I am beginning to feel a bit out of my depth. Mostly because I’ve never done any sort of media studies before, ever. I’m doing my Masters, but in a strange conversion kind of way that has given the administration all kind of headaches (like RMIT needs any encouragement to be a shambles). So the two years before this were a while ago now, and were a GradDip in Editing & Publishing. Which I guess is a kind of media, but not in that capital M way that means engaging with theory and learning how to make films and websites and documentaries. And they so weren’t academic. At all. So although my inner nerd is relishing the opportunity to actually use my brain again, I’ve got that galloping fear on the go, where every article I read makes me realise I don’t know anything.

If I’d figured out that trackbacking bizzo (God, I’m a luddite too!), I’d put Tessa’s comment here and reassure her that she’s way ahead of the game, and I’d say that Ali’s mention of Jean-Luc Nancy’s philosophical work “The Inoperable Community” and Bernard Stiegler’s Ars Industrialis movement, scares the crap out of me!

I’ve done enough study over the years to know that it will be ok, and that I’ll learn (some of) the things I don’t know and that it’s only 12 weeks of my life and I can do it. But oh lordy, what I wouldn’t give for the heady days of the undergrad with all the time in the world to think and talk (and drink) and figure things out. Trying to get through this semester and be a grown up with a real full-time job is not going to be fun.

At least there’s a couple of long weekends (with chocolate) on the horizon…